Hearty Thanks and the Fondest of Farewells

Well folks, we are coming to the end of an incredibly fun-filled summer, and I can’t believe how fast the summer has flown by. I can declare with confidence that no one at BT is ready to go home. I know that I say this every summer, but it’s going to be awfully tough to put these girls on the bus tomorrow morning!

To prepare the girls (and ourselves) for their departure, we go through a series of closing programs to wrap up this summer. The first of these events was held Tuesday night; the Final Council Fire, which is led by TM, is a program that gives our eldest campers an opportunity to reflect and share some of their favorite memories from this summer and those past. The Final Counselor Show was last night, and the counselors did a great job of sharing their memories and stories from the summer by creating fun poems, songs, and stories about their campers. Per Birch Trail tradition, Kangaroo Kourt will once again close the summer tonight. Campers are put ‘on trial’ for the crazy antics they have performed during the session. The proceedings are overseen by Judge Cabe, who gives a ruling as to the guilt or innocence of the accused and a consequence such as performing a silly dance or trick. Kangaroo Kourt brings a lot of laughs to end another great summer!

Birch Trail has been populated by an incredible bunch of campers this summer, including an enthusiastic TM and led by a caring, fun-loving staff. The result has been a summer filled with laughter, learning, and a greater sense of accomplishment. Upon her return home, we think you’ll find a daughter filled with stories, songs, and a long list of adventures. More than that, we hope you’ll agree that she has grown and developed in many great ways, has a stronger sense of herself, and knows what she is capable of achieving.

“Homesickness” is common when children leave the security of their family. At the end of the camping season “campsickness” may also occur. For many of you, your daughters will return home filled with stories to share; other campers, particularly older campers, may be withdrawn and sad when they return home. Both reactions to leaving camp are completely normal.

In order to better understand your daughter’s post-camp behavior, it is important to look at the totality of the camp experience. Camp represents independence from parental controls, new opportunities, and a heightened responsibility to self and others. Learning how to ski or sail, or to knit a scarf is important, but camp is so much more than that. The Birch Trail experience provides an opportunity to observe, learn, and practice real life skills. Camp friendships are often deeper than those at home because of the intensity of a shared living environment–bedrooms are solitary residences for most of our campers at home, but here at camp cabin life means communal living.

For our oldest campers in particular, the end of the season represents a passage from the innocence of childhood to the pressures of high school and beyond. Coupled with camp friendships forged over a period of up to seven or eight years, the last days of camp feel like a premature ending. That untimely sensation of loss is significant–for many of our campers it is their first solo venture into the process of grieving.

Take your cues from your daughter; if she wants to talk about camp, give her your undivided attention. Paraphrase her highlights so she knows that you’re really listening to her. By doing that, you’ll be giving her the time she needs to share her experiences and the realization of her ability to flourish on her own. Other campers will seem isolated or distant; if your daughter doesn’t want to tell you everything about camp, give her time alone to sift through her emotions. Validate her feelings if she tells you about them; don’t minimize her sense of separation, her sadness or her homesickness for camp. Ask her what she needs from you and respect her need for privacy.

We’ve asked campers what helps them to return home, and their responses have been interesting. Some girls suggest going out to dinner at a noisy, crowded restaurant because it reminds them of meals at camp. Others want to print their pictures right away and make a camp scrapbook, so a trip to your favorite “one hour” photo shop may be in order. E-mail is another great way for campers to maintain contact with their camp friends, and the girls will want to spend a lot of time on their computers.

Encourage them to talk by phone as well. There’s no substitute for this form of communication, even in this internet age. Finally, give them the chance to see their special camp friends throughout the school year; the friendships they have nurtured this summer will be friendships they’ll cherish for the rest of their lives. Those friendships and the self-reliance gained are the lasting gifts of a summer at Birch Trail.
We hope you saw the information about the travel home in our email on Tuesday. If you have any questions regarding travel, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

“Thank you” seems inadequate after the amazing gift of this fantastic summer, but thank you nonetheless. Thanks for trusting us, and for sharing your wonderful, precious children with us. We have delighted in their energy, their love, and their laughter. We look forward to seeing all of you at a reunion this winter.
Until then…remember to color your days bright!

Where the Real Friendships Are

How many Facebook “friends” do you have? And how many of them are also your “real” friends? Of those, how many do you actually see or talk to regularly? It’s a strange modern American phenomenon that paradoxically, we have loads of these kinds of casual contacts, acquaintances and virtual relationships, but also often feel profoundly on our own. As we spend more of our time plugged into the virtual world of the Internet (a rather solitary activity, after all), as we are encouraged to be uniquely independent and value our “freedom,” and as we are increasingly “on the move” to pursue professional, financial or lifestyle “opportunities,” we seem to have been quick to sacrifice real friendships.

I suspect, also, that children aren’t entirely immune to this phenomenon. They too, though perhaps less so than adults, struggle with being overly busy, with spending a lot of their time alone or online, and with having fewer opportunities to meet new people and share common rewarding experiences. The ordinary lives of children today are generally less suited to building a strong network of close, true friends. This is worrisome, especially when you consider that the forces behind this trend will only get stronger as our children grow older and take on greater responsibilities.

But thankfully, there is camp–that magical place where kids get to relax a bit, take a break from the pressures of school and try some new things just for the fun of it. It’s a place to meet new people and share wonderful experiences. Camp gets them outside, away from the buzz and flicker of electronic media, and allows children to explore who they are and be their authentic selves. All of these elements come together to create the ideal setting to develop real friendships and to connect with others in meaningful ways. Many BT girls feel that camp is where their real friends are.

Going to summer camp is a long-held tradition in some families, and a brand new activity in others. At camp kids learn new skills, try different activities, gain independence, enjoy the outdoors, play games, and–best of all–make friendships that will last a lifetime. In fact, according to the American Camping Association’s study on the value of camp, the number one reason that campers come back to a camp again and again is friendship. As experienced camp leaders, we know that camp friendships can help banish homesickness, promote independence and confidence, and provide lasting camp memories that will serve your daughters well into adulthood.

So what makes camp friendships so different from having friends at home? At Birch Trail, campers enjoy a much-needed break from the stress that often accompanies school environments; we believe that the academic and social pressures which are part of our children’s lives need to be relieved occasionally. Birch Trail satisfies that need with a happy, nurturing, relaxed, but well-structured experience.

More and more research is showing that children achieve and learn better in single sex environments, and this seems to be especially true for girls, who are under more pressure than ever to look or act a certain way. Without boys or the social hierarchies of school life in the picture, BT campers very quickly learn how to relax and truly enjoy the pleasures of dressing up in silly costumes, dancing and lip-synching to crazy songs, and going for long walks or bike rides in the woods. When things like technology, popularity, and fashion are not a factor, campers can learn to make friendships based on the things that really matter like their personalities, values, and senses of humor.

Girls have freedom at camp to be as silly as they want to, knowing that they are in a place where no one will judge them for how they act. Through the cabin groups, events, and all-camp programs, campers have the opportunity and support they need to create friendships based on who each girl truly is at her core. Camp friends tend to become lifelong friends because those relationships are grounded in the stuff that really matters. Everyone here bears this in mind, and the general vibe around camp this time of year makes it pretty easy to relax, be yourself, and have a good time.

Campers at BT have a lot of practice in developing strong bonds with their peers and then maintaining those bonds throughout the winter months. Of course, BT girls keep in touch via smorecamp.com, facebook, and other social media avenues, but many of our campers actually use snail mail correspondence to keep in contact with one another! In the digital era, that’s a pretty cool thing. When your daughter returns home and jumps back into home and school life, she will likely be grateful to have camp friends in whom she can confide—someone outside her regular social group.
Another great way to help kids stay in touch throughout the school year is to attend camp reunions, where they can reconnect with their camp memories and friends. We hope to see many of you folks there!

But I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself—we’ve still got a few more days of camp to enjoy before it’s time for our summer family to disperse temporarily and rejoin the hustle and bustle of the real world. Until then, I’m gonna head out and soak up some sunshine and friendship with the rest of the crew.

The Best Lessons On Earth

Good evening from Birch Trail, folks! We’ve had a glorious few days up here and are having no trouble at all keeping to good time flowing. Yesterday, I managed to sneak out of the office for a few hours to enjoy one of my favorite things from my own camp days—driving the ski boats. Looking around the lake as I led a linden camper (who was slalom skiing like an old pro), on a wide loop around the lake, I took a moment to appreciate the gorgeous sight of the empty, clear and beautiful water. We really are lucky to be here in these pristine surroundings, enjoying nature in its (mostly) untouched state. In fact, we rarely ever even see another boat on the water and unlike most camps, have the good fortune of having this lake mostly to ourselves.

Making sure everything runs smoothly can be a lot of work sometimes, so it’s great do as the campers here do and unplug from the computer screens and cell phones, and just enjoy the outdoors. Sure, I enjoy modern conveniences, gadgets, and toys just as much as the next guy, but there’s something special about getting to camp and unplugging from all the devices that seem to run our lives these days. Heck, we even discourage the use of watches around here! Camp is a place for kids to get away from the things like computers and TV, and we encourage everyone to take advantage of the beautiful surroundings and immerse themselves in nature, even if that just means taking the time to enjoy a pretty sunset. Camp really is a sanctuary from the pressures of real life, and it warms my heart to see how easily kids relearn how to be kids here.

For this very reason, I am especially proud of our camping skills programs, which guides children toward the wonderful and important life lessons to be learned by spending time in the wilderness. Research shows that experience in the outdoors has the potential to impart a wide variety of benefits on children’s physical development, emotional and mental health and well-being, and social development. Mental health and wellbeing benefits from play in natural settings appear to be long-term, realized in the form of emotional stability in young adulthood.

The ability to gain knowledge and skills and apply them to new situations is an important step toward self-directed living. In the beautiful and natural surroundings of the Northwoods all around us, learning responsible and enjoyable camping skills is an excellent arena in which kids can learn and practice these skills. If a camper enjoys taking our basic canoeing and camping skills class, where campers learn how to safely paddle a canoe, set up a tent, and light a fire, she can then take those skills up a level in various outdoor education programs. We offer a Sterner’s class for intermediate canoeing, Voyageurs for advanced canoeing, and an Explorers program, which is a BT version of the ultimate outdoor class.

In the Voyageurs program, Voyageurs-in-training must work as a team, utilizing the skills they learn in practical applications rather than simply in theory. Campers learn 27 skills in the Voyageurs class including canoe over canoe rescues (how to rescue a swamped canoe and empty that canoe full of water while still far out on a lake), how to portage (carry) a canoe for ½ mile on your own, etc. Though many of the activities in Voyageurs seem like pure fun, there is always a lot more at work beneath the surface. Effective canoeing takes communication: the sterner, paddling in the rear of the canoe, must communicate paddle strokes and the person in the bow must communicate water conditions an potential hazards. Of course, this becomes especially important in rough waters. I probably don’t need to spell out the metaphor this sets up for real life, but you get the idea. The methods of healthy, effective communication that the Voyageurs class teaches usually make their way into the cabin environment, and eventually home life. As kids build upon and expand their knowledge and skills, they develop a commitment to life-long learning. In the camp environment, it is imperative to give campers the opportunity to learn new skills, practice those skills, and process the information for both immediate and future use.

The Explorers program picks up where Voyageurs leaves off, further advancing a camper’s expertise in the outdoors. Among the many challenges in Explorers, campers learn how to camp in such a way that they “leave no trace,” essentially meaning that at Birch Trail, we always try to leave a camp site, river bank, or field of grass in better and cleaner condition than when we found it. Explorers candidates take their foundation of camping knowledge and begin to practice taking leadership roles in outdoor settings. In the class they learn about making shelters with what you find in the woods, wilderness first aid, outdoor cooking, as well as wilderness trip leading skills such as orienteering and map-reading.

The final test in the Explorers program is a-24 hour solo trip, where the girls camp out on specially designated spots away from the main area of camp. Because the camp property lines extend far past the areas we use on a regular basis, there is a lot of land that still feels untouched and far away. The solo trip campsites are designed in a wheel-shape, spread out in a circle around a center site, where our staff are stationed throughout the 24-hour solo trip. This layout provides us with a direct route to each camper, while still allowing each site to be stationed far apart enough so that the girls can’t see each other. For this solo experience, campers have to pack their own food, hang a bear bag, and make their own shelter. Campers can choose to bring either a poncho or a garbage bag, flashlight or bug spray. While on their solo campers journal about their solo trip and how it has affected them, processing their experiences in the moment. Though each camper is equipped with a very loud whistle and in reality is only feet away from supervision or assistance, those 24 hours alone in the woods can seem very long and solitary. For those Explorers who successfully complete their solo and subsequently the whole program, their newly-instilled confidence is undeniable.

We find that through programs like Explorers, teens working in leadership roles at camp benefit not only from acquiring knowledge of leadership skills but from actually implementing those skills. This is why leadership opportunities for older campers–like helping teach a project or being a team captain during color wars–can be such rewarding experiences. Specialized instruction tailored to specific age groups makes camp easier to manage and heightens the interest of the campers involved. Teens serving in leadership roles can learn much through co-teaching classes and working with young campers who are learning new skills.

All in all, it’s pretty spectacular to see shy, nervous campers turn into well-seasoned leaders over the years. And the best part is that most of these campers really do pass on their knowledge to younger campers, who are always paying attention to what their role models at camp are doing and saying. This way, eventually, the whole thing comes full circle; big leaders teach the little ones, who grow up to be big leaders themselves one day. And our job is simply to give gentle instruction and encouragement along the way, and nurture what is special about each camper’s personality and interests.

In the process of all this incredible, experiential education comes the additional benefit of knowing—for the rest of their lives—that they can tough it out in the woods with the best of ‘em. I don’t have to spell out the metaphor here much further, because we all know how important it is to feel capable, prepared, and adventure-ready in the real world. With that in mind, I can’t think of a more important skill set to impart in our campers.

Color Wars and Birch Trail Lore

Good evening from gorgeous camp BT! I can’t even tell you how fast the summer is flying by—we really are having the time of our lives up here! In fact, this weekend has seen the glory, mayhem, and fun of second session’s color wars.

During TIAD, the entire camp takes a two-day break from projects and the regular schedule for some special events. While there is of course the usual brand of color-coordinated-to-the-extreme outfits, lots of singing and cheering, and a whole bunch of funny games, there is also the constant and underlying theme that the poem expresses. Integrated into the competitions, cheers, and organization of TIAD is the concept that we as a camp community have a responsibility to one another to be kind and respectful.

You might remember that, as part of our beginning-of-session traditions, the whole camp recites a really important poem as a special evening grace that campers have been using here at Birch Trail since the very beginning. It reminds the campers to be mindful of their time together and of the friendships they will cultivate over the next four or eight weeks, and helps set the tone we maintain through the season. The poem reads as follows:

There is a destiny that makes us brothers and sisters;
None goes his or her way alone.
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own.
I care not your race nor creed;
One thing holds firm and fast
That into this fitful heap of days and deeds,
The soul of a man and a woman is cast.

We try to incorporate the message of this poem into many of the things we do at camp, including TIAD, which stands for “There Is A Destiny.”

We talk a lot during TIAD about camp’s history and traditions, using the special opportunity to do a little teaching. Friday night’s program was a camp history council fire, where the teams must answer questions about birch trail’s history and the Native American history in this region. True to BT form, this Birch Trail Trivia game is a little different than your average question-and-answer competition. Each team has four groups of contestants for each age group comprised of two maples, two lindens, two tamaracks, and two counselors. The maple pairs take their turn first, positioned about ten feet from their advisor (a staff member who serves as a sort of color-wars-consigliere for each team). The facilitator asks a trivia question to the maples, who must write down the correct answer and deliver it to their advisor by skipping the distance; lindens must wheel-barrow across the grass, tamarack teams army crawl, and counselors leap frog. The team that has the correct answer and gets to the advisor first wins the point. If no team has the correct answer, the most creative answer wins. It’s pretty entertaining to watch! After the trivia contest the linden campers from each team lead a song about their teams’ core value.

I love how even the trivia contest allows different types of kids to shine; answering trivia questions in order to earn points is a great way for those campers who don’t excel in or enjoy athletic activities to shine and help their teams. Unlike a lot of camps, many of our color war activities are not all athletic based. One of our most innovative competitions during TIAD is a make-your-own-boat contest, where the teams each get balloons, garbage bags, cardboard and duct tape. Using only these materials, each team must construct a boat that one camper can sit in and paddle across the swim area. Our campers get really crafty and creative with their boat-building, and the whole thing is pretty hilarious. We’ve got some pictures of the event up for you to check so you can see for yourself all the fun that was had.

Like first session’s Pandemonium color wars, TIAD is complete with enough songs, chants, and cheers written just for these two days to fill an entire songbook, as well as a whole new world of silly games and races. TIAD is about all the traditions and history of camp, and the core values we try to impart on our campers. The TIAD teams are named after the some of the local rivers we take canoe trips on: the Flambeau, St Croix. Namekegon, Brule and Totagatic rivers. Each team also has a theme that corresponds to one of the five core camp values that we honor at Birch Trail: friendship, tradition, kindness, cooperation and adventure.

I love to see everyone get into the spirit of fun and good sportsmanship with extra gusto during TIAD. And at the end of TIAD’s closing ceremonies, each camper understands and appreciates a little better how special camp really is, and how special she is for being a part of it.

For All-Things Fixable; Cabin meetings and cabin bonding

Hello from a blissful and lovely day at Camp Birch Trail! We’ve been enjoying some perfect summer days here, sunny and warm with fantastic breezes. Now that we’ve had a week or so to get settled, the whole camp is enjoying the full swing of camp living. Activities are underway and looking great, and I spent a long time checking out some of the creations in the arts and crafts shop earlier today. I’m all-thumbs when it comes to tie-dying and pottery, so I was pretty impressed to see how skillful the campers were as they made gifts for their friends and family both at camp and back at home.

Now that we’ve gotten through all those initial transitions that take place throughout the first week of camp (getting acclimated to a new location, schedule, menu, and living arrangements can be particularly tricky for children–some of whom are away from home for the very first time), we can enjoy all the good stuff that follows. Because even for those campers who have been coming to BT for many years, things at camp are not always as comfortable or familiar as they are at home. Learning to adjust to new foods, new activities, new company, and new group-living environments teaches kids how to take bigger, more stressful obstacles in stride later in life. Though sharing a living space with the habits and personalities of several other people may not seem like such a life-changing experience in itself, it has the potential to translate to much larger challenges in the campers’ adult lives.

We know that through camp-specific obstacles like homesickness or leadership opportunities, kids inevitably develop a new sense of resilience. When they move past a rough patch and begin really enjoying their time here, they realize that perseverance really does pay off. Of course, transitioning through any kind of hurdle only takes place with the help of peers and counselors, and a whole lot of support. Because of their extensive training, BT counselors know what to look for and how to help when one of their campers is missing home or feeling under the weather. It is the counselors’ job to help smooth out the road and make things as fun and safe as possible, and the network of support for both campers and staff is strong and vast enough to handle pretty much anything.

With that settling-in at camp comes some change in the cabin dynamic. As always happens in new groups and new friendships, conflicts do occasionally arise. Some of you might have received letters by this time that detail some of these minor conflicts as they’ve come up. The experience of a group living environment will be new to many kids, and still challenging to those who have already experienced cabin life. Even for kids who have siblings at home, sharing a cabin with peers can be challenging for most campers, no matter what their home life might be.

Just like with everything else here at BT, we try to take these moments of conflict or tension as an opportunity to teach the campers valuable lessons about relationships and life. We have a great system of support and guidance to help the campers work through any issues that come up. For weekly maintenance, we like to encourage something called “Duct Tape Time,” which is a special time that takes place at 5 pm every Wednesday during Cabin Day. The cabin groups can come together during this designated hour to discuss how things are going and address any problems, cabin rules that need to be adjusted, or any other issue that may have arisen in the previous week. In essence, this hour is a time for the cabins to fix anything that needs attention, tweaking, or adjustment—hence the duct tape theme (because we all know that duct tape fixes everything ☺).

Duct Tape Time gives the kids an opportunity to talk about their feelings, and address any lingering issues in the cabin; as well as checking in and seeing how well their cabin rules were working. During this meeting, each camper has a turn to speak her mind so that there is only one person talking at a time. In these sessions, cabin counselors are always there to help with the frame work, and to guide their campers as they practice putting feelings into words in a friendly way. We also hold cabin meetings outside of Duct Tape Time whenever they are needed, led by Barbara, Erin, or myself to help resolve more serious or more timely conflicts.

One way that we keep these meetings productive, calm, and focused, is by using “I” versus “you” statements. By implanting a formula of “When you _____ I feel _____, because_______” statements, campers learn to address specific behaviors or situations rather than attack someone personally. We teach the camp community that “you” messages tend to escalate conflicts or make things worse. For example, saying something like “You always forget to ask my permission,” or “you never invite me to come along” might make a child feel attacked or called-out.
“I” messages are a way of diffusing a confrontation. With an “I” message, the speaker identifies the problem needing to be solved instead of attacking the other person. In turn, this makes the listener feel more willing to try to solve the problem as a team instead of feeling the need to get defensive. For instance, a few of the issues that frequently come up in cabin meetings can be easily transformed from argumentative statements to productive ones:
“You never clean up the cabin–you are lazy” becomes “When you don’t clean up the cabin, I feel concerned because we all agreed that it was an important way of showing respect to each other,” or “You never pass me the ball in soccer” can be turned into “I feel bad and left out when you don’t pass me the ball because I like playing with you.”

Part of growing up means learning to gain control over feelings and impulses, even though it can be difficult for many children to manage strong emotions. We teach our campers that conflicts and mistakes are going to happen; our role is to help the kids solve those problems quickly and in healthy ways. These are important life skills that our campers have the benefit of learning here at camp, where it is a safe place for kids to develop conflict resolution skills. We teach our campers that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way, but that what’s important is trying in earnest to learn from those mistakes.

We also talk about choices, meaning that if a camper does something wrong, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with her, but instead that there is something wrong with her choice. It’s incredibly important for children to learn the difference between a person and their choices, and to always remember that they are in charge of each and every choice they make.

It feels really great to provide our campers with the frame work they need to solve a conflict, and then to see them practice those tools and techniques throughout the summer. If we do our job right, by the end of the summer, campers will be able to resolve conflicts on their own. What we want is for the kids to come home from camp knowing more than when they left. Year after year, I see returning campers proving just how well camp makes this happen; as the campers get older and more experienced, they need our guidance less and less. Some of our older campers have even expressed and interest in helping to lead cabin meetings and Duct Tape Time for the younger kids. How wonderful to see this healthy cycle of communication and healing continue, and to see my camp kids do what they do best—get back to the business of having a great time!

Hot Weather? No Problem!

For those of you tracking the weather in these parts, you’ll notice that we’ve had a heat wave up here the last few days. Though we don’t usually get such warm temperatures in this region of Wisconsin, we certainly know how to handle it in style! We’ve made sure to have lots of fans in every cabin and we’ve had a few beach parties, which the campers always love.

And today, as a great surprise and treat for both the campers and staff, we took everyone for a trip to the waterpark in Duluth—everyone cheered so loudly when we made the announcement that the dogs started barking and howling in response! Of course treats like a waterpark adventure are always a blast, but there’s a little more method behind our decisions to surprise the camp with something like a movie or trip to the waterpark. We place a really strong emphasis on rewarding positive behavior, and when the whole camp rallies during a trying time like a big thunderstorm or hot and humid weather, we like to show them our appreciation with something really special.

I was so impressed to see our staff and older campers doing a great job of keeping the tone around camp upbeat and positive the last few days, and was even more impressed at how quickly and effectively that attitude spread to the rest of camp. Going to the waterpark was a great way to cool off and have some fun, but it was also a great way to send a pretty important message to the whole camp: happiness loves company, and great attitudes deserve rewards.
During staff training week, we talked to the counselors and administrators about our way of issuing effective praise. Here at camp, we have a philosophy of practicing what we call “Describe it, label it, and praise it.” I talked about this a bit in one of the earlier blog posts this year, but I’d like to elaborate on this method of effective praise now that the summer is on a roll and I’m really seeing it in action.

When grown-ups praise kids, they often offer general praise. For example, if a child finishes her homework soon after returning from school instead of waiting for the last minute to do it, you will probably say something like “Great job!” However, giving a child more specific praise is much more effective than simply passing a general exclamation of approval. Showing satisfaction and approval to our campers is really important, and by doing so, we make sure each and every camper knows exactly what she is being praised for.

If kids know what behavior is expected of them, and what kinds of behavior are positive and healthy, they are more likely to engage in those behaviors on their own. If a camper does something great like help a friend who is having a hard time, we don’t let such an action go unnoticed. It draws attention to how mature and responsible she is, and it also shows that your child is sensitive to the feelings of those around her. Saying something like “good job,” can be nice to hear, but it isn’t as specific as saying, “I saw how you handled that argument between your cabin mates—that was really great listening and communicating, and I’m so proud of you for being such a great friend and leader.” This type of praise also lets other kids know the type of behavior we are looking for and encourages them to try these positive behaviors as well.

After describing the good behavior, giving it a specific name or label, and then offering praise for it, we also like to follow up with some kind of little reward. Something as simple as a “thank you,” big hug, or hand-written card often goes a long way.

Even though it can be difficult to put ourselves in our children’s shoes, it’s important to remember that to a child, something like a thunderstorm or really hot day can be a major challenge, as can a minor cabin conflict or frustrating day at the climbing wall. So when we see a camper overcome that kind of challenge with a great attitude and positive outcome, we make sure to let her know that we see it, we acknowledge it, and we appreciate it.

And this is exactly why I was so excited to treat all the kids and staff to a great day at the waterpark—I wanted to make sure they all knew just how much we all value the exemplary attitudes and behavior they’ve been displaying the last few days. It was great to see all the campers show how courteous they can be, saying “please” and “thank you” to the bus drivers and waterpark staff. And even though I was too busy making sure everyone was having a good time to do any swimming myself, I got so many hugs that I ended up getting totally soaked! As I sit here typing this, my shirt still wet from all those happy hugs, I can’t help but feel pretty darn proud of my BT girls.

Second Session 2011, Here We Go!

Second session is officially underway, and I’m thrilled to report that we had a happy and successful travel day yesterday. We had a wonderful time visiting with the families of our eight week campers over the Big Switch, took one big breath, had a good night’s sleep, and then welcomed the crew of second sessioners with mighty big smiles and hugs. It was just a little bit warmer than we would have liked, but with slip-n-slides, popsicles, and sprinkler games, the campers managed to do what they do best—have fun!

We had a great time showing all the kids to their new cabins and watching them make new friends at record speeds. For the first dinner of second session, we dined al fresco to help beat the heat. We also took the first bunch of cabin pictures, so if you haven’t yet had a chance to check them out, feel free to take a look at your daughters’ cabin pictures. After dinner, we opened up the canteen (our camp store) to make sure that everyone had a water bottle for the night. And then it was on to the counselor show, full of TONS of silly songs and wacky introductions.

I’d like to take this opportunity to issue a hearty thanks for your patience if it takes us just a little longer to return your phone calls and emails over these first couple of days—we’ll try our best to catch up real soon, but our first priority is making sure that each and every camper feels happy and comfortable. Part of making everyone feel comfortable is our Big and Little Sisters program, which helps give first-time campers a guaranteed, immediate friend and mentor. Every new camper is given a camp “Big Sis,” a seasoned, older camper who can show her the ropes of camp and be a steady confidant in these first few days. Last night as I made the rounds, checking in on each cabin to make sure everyone had everything they needed, I was so pleased to see throngs of Big Sisters making their way to visit their Little Sisters with little gifts.

In fact, something that distinguishes second session from the first half of camp is that those Big sisters and eight-weekers are already so immersed in the camp community that they set a comfortable, positive tone for the newcomers right from the very beginning. In turn, those new campers arrive having already experienced a few weeks of summer at home, and in their eagerness to have fun doing something new, add a sense of renewed excitement for those kids who have already been here for four weeks. The end result is always the same: second session absolutely flies by in a flash.

Though many of the eight-week campers have already made lasting memories with their friends and cabin mates from last session, new cabin groups and bunkmate pairings inevitably result in lots of new friendships. Camp life tends to facilitate the easy creation of friendships, because we place great value on sharing, communication, and fun; the elements that make up long-lasting friendships are constantly encouraged here.

Learning how to seek out and connect with someone who shares the same likes and values helps kids feel confident as they move through their school years and into adulthood. Children who attend camp from a young age have been proven to enjoy smoother, healthier, and happier transitions into high school, college, and work environments. I’ve always thought that this makes a great deal of sense because what is at the core of those life-changing transitions is the quality of the company we keep and how that company makes us feel about ourselves. For those kids who are confident in their ability to make new friends, adolescence and early adulthood are certainly a little bit more comfortable than they might otherwise be.

With this in mind, we start emphasizing the importance of being a good friend from the very first day of each session. Through our Sunday Services, council fires, and our overall camping style, we teach the Birch Trail girls that the key to being a good friend lies in their dedication to being kind, supportive, honest, and compassionate.Remarkably, even those campers who are shy, tentative, introverted, or homesick in their first few days eventually come to realize that the camp environment is a safe one in which they can strike up a conversation with another camper.

I’m pleased to report that already–mere hours into the session–I’m seeing evidence that our methods are working and that in the morning when each camper wakes up, she will know that she has a friend to talk to and share breakfast with. If that isn’t a fantastic start to the session, I don’t know what is.

Lifelong Memories

Good afternoon from sunny Camp BT! Though we’ve had some really warm temperatures the last few days (and lots of great beach parties), it’s been much more mild yesterday and today—sunny and mid-70s—and looks to stay that way for the rest of the session. Speaking of weather, we’ve had a few concerned phone calls from parents who heard that we had a tornado here at camp, and though we did have a big storm with high winds, rest assured that it was not a tornado.

It’s hard to believe that first session will be ending in a few short days; it has been a truly remarkable month filled with great activities, lots of laughter, and a ton of incredible memories.

During their time at camp, kids have a chance to establish independence from their parents, siblings, and home environment, though sometimes these changes can be subtle. Skills are things kids can demonstrate; they can show you how they can hit a ball farther, dance more gracefully, climb the climbing wall, or make a tie-dye shirt. However, newfound independence often shows itself in understated ways. When kids gain confidence in the camp environment by making new friends and achieving new goals, they usually become more outgoing and, in certain ways, less dependent on their parents. They become more interested in exploring new things on their own and often find this newfound strength pretty empowering.

Sometimes, your daughter’s newfound independence will be obvious. Perhaps she will show you how she keeps her elbows off the dinner table, or she will make her bed every morning (rules we follow here at camp). Discoveries like this amaze parents, especially those who have given up trying to get their child to perform chores spontaneously. Of course, such increased responsibility and politeness may not last all year. Kids are kids, and camp won’t change that (thank goodness!). However, camp does help kids take steps in the right direction. The responsibilities they’re given at camp cultivate an awareness of what needs to be done, without being told.

One of the nice things about overnight camp is that it gives parents and kids a break from one another–every family can use a change of pace now and then. In fact, time away from home is the most powerful force behind gaining independence. Parents tell us all the time that camp has made their children more mature and independent. Like these parents, we get a wonderful feeling when we witness children growing and gaining confidence. We see it every summer, and being part of that process of positive change is what motivates us to keep the tradition of summer camp alive.

I’ll be terribly sad to see our first session campers go home, but then it will be time to take one big breath and prepare to do it all over again next session. And of course I am looking forward to seeing many of our eight week campers’ families on visiting day. But before everyone packs and leaves, before the “Big Switch” as we like to call it, and before visiting weekend, there are some incredibly important traditions that will take place this week. These last few days of the session are always a strange blend of both happy and sad events, marking the end of a wonderful month together.

Now that we are coming to the end of the second two-week rotation of activities, the campers have acquired many new skills and will have the opportunity to show off what they have learned at one of our favorite end of session events: The Seven Lively Arts. On Friday, we’ll spend the afternoon watching the campers display what they have learned in the gymnastics, dance, cheerleading, knitting, water ski, water ballet, and diving shows. We’ll also get to watch the camp play, tour the arts and crafts gallery opening, and watch the movies that the videography classes have filmed and edited.

We have several evening programs that commemorate the end of yet another successful session, one of which is the always-emotional final council fire. The TM campers traditionally lead the final council fire, sharing their feelings and stories about their time at camp. It’s hard not to cry along with the TMers as they lament the end of their camping days. Special songs are sung to continue the end-of-session traditions that have been a part of camp since Birch Trail’s first summer 52 years ago. Though the final council fire is always a tender and sometimes downright melancholy event, there is something very comforting in the way we honor the passing of another session and all the special memories that we’ve created as a community.

Another, far less somber evening program that takes place the last night of first session is Tiki’s Last Laugh, which gets pretty crazy! We like to end the session with a fun evening program and this one overflows with laughter and silliness. For Tiki’s Last Laugh a panel of judges sits, draped in protective clothing, in front of the entire camp. Each cabin gets one minute to make the judges laugh. If one of the judges breaks down in even a split second of giggles, the cabin gets to pick from an assortment of prizes for that judge. The prizes include things like cracking an egg on a judges’ head, a ketchup and mustard facial, having a bucket of ranch dressing poured on their head, and other assorted messy prizes. If none of the judges laugh, the campers get to pick one of their counselors to “receive” the prize. Either way, someone is getting really messy!

I’ve sent out some information regarding the end of the session and we anticipate another smooth and breezy, though emotional, travel day on Saturday, but if you have any questions about your daughter’s departure from camp please don’t hesitate to give us a call. If your daughter is coming home at the end of this week, remember that returning from camp can be a big transition and quite a lot of culture shock. She might want to tell you every single detail of her time here, or she might be a little on the quiet side. Camp life is unique; there really isn’t anything quite like it and it can be hard for kids to express what that transition back to home life feels like. Rather than be alarmed on worried if your daughter seems dramatically more emotional than usual upon her return home, we encourage you to view her adjustment time as a testimony to the deep, enduring independence and maturity that she has gained at Birch Trail.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Cabin Bonding

I hope everyone at home had as a great 4th of July as we had up here in the Northwoods. After a very special traditional breakfast of red-white-and-blue waffles with strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream, the campers decorated their cabins and had one epic, all-camp, no-holds-barred frosting fight! A few hours (and many showers) later, we all headed over to Camp North Star for our annual holiday celebration and social. Camp has resumed its normal pace of activities, trips, and fun in the sun—I just can’t believe how fast the summer is flying by!

Last night I told bedtime stories to cabins M-4 and M-5, and dropped one of our camp dogs, Brooklyn, off for a sleepover with cabin M-3. We have three dogs in camp this summer, all friendly, well-trained dogs who LOVE all the attention they get from the camp community. The Chernov family has always loved having dogs around at camp because we find that the bond between child and animal is really beneficial during these important years of development. Having a dog to pet, take care of, and play with is great for kids who miss their dogs back at home; very often, campers miss their pets almost as much as they miss their friends and family. And for the campers who can’t have pets at home because of siblings or parents with allergies, having surrogate pets at camp gives them the chance to experience a bit of the responsibilities and rewards of caring for an animal. It works out pretty well for the dogs here, too—with 200 kids to play with, a lake to swim in and a very giving cook this place is dog heaven! And after the cookout last night, I noticed Brooklyn eating a whole hamburger patty that someone had dropped on the ground. So, all in all, being a camp dog turns out to be a pretty good deal!

At this point in the session, campers can begin focusing on some of the bigger picture aspects of camp, now that they are comfortably nestled into the camp routine. Now that each cabin group has passed the honeymoon stage, minor conflicts often arise. Camp is designed to offer kids the opportunity to practice making decisions as a group. We think that these times are when they receive the most important dividends of the camp experience—learning archery is great, but learning how to get along with others is essential.

Camp life is, by design, pretty different from life at home for most of our campers. It is in that special home-away-from-home atmosphere that children grow and mature, learning new things in a decidedly neutral and safe setting. But as we all know, not every part of growing up and learning new things is comfortable; more often than not, we need to experience the unfamiliar in order to learn how to cope with adversity. When campers must come together as a group in order to make a decision, they must do so through effective communication. Minor conflicts might in the process, but through some special guidance from counselors and a healthy dose of experiential education (learning by doing), we find that these minor conflicts evolve into major bonding experiences.

Of course we want the campers to work through conflicts and come out the other side having learned something, but we also want them to know that conflict resolution can take place calmly and effectively; conflict is very often a necessary component of relationships and need not be feared. Problems don’t go away if you ignore them–in fact usually they get worse. It’s a good idea to face problems and get them sorted out as soon as you can. Learning how to deal with all those problems that crop up is a big part of growing up and an essential life skill. The key point is that not only must your child learn how to solve problems, but do so in a peaceful, calm way so that all the kids involved feel like they’ve won.

Birch Trail campers are taught that the emotions that come with the territory when working through a disagreement are normal and healthy. Sometimes we all get pretty angry. We may feel that something is unfair, something has been taken or broken that we value, someone is being mean, we’re not getting a fair share, etc. So what do we do? Well, we could throw a huge tantrum, get really upset, or be mean to everybody, but would any of these things solve the problem? I don’t think so! Staff members at BT are trained to help resolve conflicts both large and small by following several important steps. First, everyone involved needs to understand what the conflict or argument is about. To do this, everyone needs to say what they feel about it (without interruptions), listen to what other people have to say about their feelings (without interrupting them), and try to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their point of view.

Because mean-girl behavior is not tolerated at Birch Trail, this means that there are a few important rules that must be followed during cabin meetings or duct-tape time (a special hour devoted to giving kids an opportunity to talk about their feelings, and address any lingering issues in the cabin, as well as checking in and seeing how well their cabin rules are working). Of course, screaming and shouting are not allowed; there are to be no mean, nasty remarks that will hurt people’s feelings–no personal remarks about a person’s looks, their ‘secrets’ or things that have happened in the past.

In an effort to encourage people to work together, we teach campers the difference between and “I” statement or a “you” statement. You never clean up the cabin is a “you” statement. “You” statements tend to escalate or make conflicts worse. “When you don’t clean up the cabin, I feel sad because we all agreed that we would clean the cabin together” is an “I” statement. “I” statements identify a problem to be solved rather than attacking the other person. We find that our campers have greater success in resolving a conflict when they all feel heard and no one is placing blame. When our campers begin to learn to say what they feel without blaming the other person, conflict resolution becomes much easier.

Another important element of healthy communication that we strongly encourage is active listening. To practice this, campers are instructed to look at the person who is speaking, and suspend other things they are doing. They should listen not merely to the words, but the feeling content, and also be sincerely interested in what the other person is talking about. It can be helpful to then restate what the person said. Also, campers learn to effectively ask clarification questions when needed. All the while, we help the kids to be aware of their own feelings and strong opinions. And when it is time to state their views, we encourage them to voice those opinions only after the other person has finished speaking.

Conflict resolution is not easy. It takes everyone involved to work together willingly and to accept and carry out what has been decided. With all these chances to practice honing good communication skills, the campers learn crucial, fundamental tools to help them grow and adapt to new things as they grow—all the while having a genuinely good time. As we move forward into the session, I look forward to continuing to enjoy watching each cabin group evolve and connect on deeper, more meaningful levels. In this way, the temporary living arrangement at camp becomes a truly holistic, immersive learning environment. And even though Brooklyn the dog needed a lengthy nap today after having so much fun with last night’s slumber party-mates from M-3, she seemed pretty happy in her temporary living environment, too.

Absolute Pandemonium

Pandemonium 2011 has begun! No, I’m not referring to the general state of fun and excitement that exists at camp pretty much all day, every day, but 1st session’s color wars extravaganza, called Pandemonium. A gloriously warm summer night ushered in the magical, secret ceremony that kicks off the two-day event. Because it’s a special camp secret, we can’t tell you the details of course. But, we can tell you that the ceremony is really, really cool and that it helps bring the whole camp together in the spirit of unity and fun that pervades every aspect of the Pandemonium experience.

Pandemonium centers around one of our favorite sayings here at camp: “Color Your Days Bright.” The phrase is painted on signs, printed on t-shirts, and repeated almost daily here. It so perfectly sums up what Birch Trail is all about, and seeing the campers integrate that philosophy into what they do at, and take away from camp brings me great joy. During Pandemonium, the entire camp takes a two-day hiatus from projects and the regular schedule for some special events. While there is the usual brand of color-coordinated-to-the-extreme outfits, lots of singing and cheering, and funny games, there is also the constant and underlying theme of “Color Your Days Bright.” The whole camp divides up into five teams: Red Hearts, Orange Suns, Yellow Stars, Green Clovers, and Blue Fish.

The entire camp woke up feeling ready to take on Pandemonium with gusto! After dressing in their team colors, each camper met up with her Pandemonium team to learn cheers and get to know their team members. Teams are purposely created to offer a diverse, melting-pot style roster of campers and staff so that everyone has a chance to branch out and meet people of different age groups and backgrounds. By this mid-point of the session, the cabin groups have come together really well. Each cabin group will have experienced the minor ups and downs of living together by now, and about half of the cabins have gone on their cabin trips. The purpose of those cabin trips is to not only show campers the joys of exploring nature, but also to create a shared experience amongst their own little unit to bond them together.

After the cabins and villages have had these opportunities to feel really comfortable and friendly on the smaller community scale, our color wars event is a great way to broaden that scale a bit. Though of course we have a lot of great, all-camp events throughout the session, the Pandemonium teams offer a fantastic way for campers to make new friends without being overwhelmed by camp’s all-together size. While decorating their team’s site, preparing for the fun and games, and learning cheers, everyone gets to hang out with people they might not cross paths with on a regular day. And in a phenomenal show of in-camp networking, we’ve found that these new, Pandemonium-inspired friendships have a waterfall effect; when one camper meets a friend in their color wars team, they can then introduce their whole cabin to that new friend, and so on, making the whole community infinitely more interconnected.

Color wars have a long and rich tradition in the summer camp world, with most camps adapting their own individual style and beliefs into their version of color wars. Ours is very typically Birch Trail, with enough songs, chants, and cheers written just for these two days to fill an entire songbook, as well as a whole new world of color-specific accessorizing. But beyond the fun and events, the outfits and accessories, and yes, even beyond the singing, is one very important and very BT element: the concept that everyone is a winner at Birch Trail.

True, Pandemonium is technically a competition, but it’s one that is never taken too seriously. In fact, we believe that a decidedly non-competitive environment is best for our campers. Still, a little bit of healthy, fun-based competition suits us every now and again. In order to keep things from getting too serious, we make sure that teams are not only scored on their athletic prowess or skills (who placed first in the relay race or who sang the loudest cheer) but also on their sportsmanship and team support. The phrase “Everyone is a winner at Birch Trail” might seem cheesy to some kids and maybe even some parents, but when repeated often enough, I notice that the message really does sink in here. Everyone acts like a winner, and everyone feels like a winner.

Yesterday was Pandemonium’s prep day and though there was a great deal of planning and cheer-learning, we managed to revise the days schedule to accommodate more water-based activities since we’ve had such warm weather. Today’s exciting stream of relays, activities, and singing will culminated in a special, campfire-side closing ceremony. After two days of color-divided cabins, schedule upheaval, and general chaos, when the festivities come to a close tonight, everyone will go back to their cabins, change into jammies, and resume normal BT life as if none of the Pandemonium competition ever mattered. And in truth, the Pandemonium teams, colors, cheers, events, judges, leaders, rules, and competition don’t matter. All that remains will be the memories, the pictures, and the new friendships that have become the lasting products of Pandemonium. Did you ever imagine that absolute Pandemonium could lead to such incredible things?